Learning Kikuyu…just hilarious!

I read this from a friend the other day and felt it was too hilarious not to share out:

 Tribalism aside, it goes without saying that everyone in this country likes making fun of Kikuyus especially the stereo-type God-father donning unromantic ones. To be a kikuyu is rather simple; at least language- wise.

 To show you how, first, lets make language simple by ignoring all l’s from now on, ok?

 Good. Next rets try to make hard words easier to pronounce by adding dragging vowers at the end from here on. Now, thingsi are gettingi easier now isnti iti? Wero, the nexti thingi to do isi to try andi add more vowerisi to the middroo of the difficulti wordsi. Like ‘nexti’ is difficulti to pronounci so iti becomesi nexiti. 

Very very wero. Now we ara gettingi there sirowry buti surery. Here now comesi the harder parti. Very hardi wordsi shouldi be removedi entirery and replacedi with easier swahiri or Kikuyu onesi.  ‘Haiya’. You see. Thingsi ara much easier now. Excepti the ‘ch’ probrem which we now changingi fromu ‘ch’ to ‘sh’.

After shangingi thati wanu, we removu ‘x’ fromu the alphabeti anda repraci iti with ‘th’. And some ofu the s’s too. Good. He he he. Ngai fafa. “Chrithmathi hasi come earry thisi year”. You see. 

Nekithiti, we replaci ‘c’ withi ‘k’. ‘Come’ becomesi ‘kome’ buti the ‘o’ there isi a proburemu so we replasi orro o’s thati soundi liki a’s with a’ and orro a’s thati soundi like o’s withi o’s.

Nao, ‘come’ bekams easier to say. “Kamu here”. But here hasi ‘re’ ati the endi  thati needsi to be replacedi withi ‘a’. “Kamu hea”. Thati isi beta!

Haya. Now “aterere” is ani attenshon casha, so wheni ekthipraining somuthingi, we starti with aterere for the seki ofu kirarity. Aterere isi now inisidi. Asi you cani see, iti isi very easy to bekamu a kikuyu. 

Aterere, tero orro your rafikis who ara noti kikuyus to tirae thisi lessoni anda they wirro see kikuyu isi laiki ingirishi. 

Am sure all Kikuyus are ‘lol’ by now


What if it was today?

Life is not cruel, it is us  who are not humane enough to others. Many are dying, and many more will have to die…

Looking at the happenings in this world and closer home, in Nairobi, one really wonders if all is going on well or the world is finally coming to an end as we have been told in the numerous movies and programs about 2012. The stories about the galactical alignment (Nostadamus) and the prediction of the end of the world (The Mayan calender), leave me confused.

That there is always a cycle in everything on this earth? Does this mean that the current technological advancements are not actually inventions nor innovations but just part of the cycle and there was a time when such was actually in existence on earth? What of the human evolution, are we still evolving and will we evolve to a more intelligent being than what is the current being? Or will we evolve to an extend that we will be at par with the gods? If the world does come to an end on 21st December 2012, what will remain of this place earth? will there be another cycle and evolution or creation take place again? What if as predicted in Revelation(bible), there starts occurences to mark the end? How many of us will make it to heaven? Or what if the sun starts undergoing self destruction and mark the end of it as a star? What if our universe as we know it collided with another galaxy and we were absorbed into it? What if there are other planets like earth out there and have a much highly advanced being that our own human race?

By any chance, what if Jesus came back today, how many of our church leaders will go to heaven? With the current chrch having been converted into money minting machines who siphone and drain off all that can be squeezed out of the poor, I predoct a very big surprise. I believ our church leaders will not only go to hell, but will be used as fuel for the other sinners who were amingst their flock.

As has been proved, the moon is slowly drifting away from the earth and at one time it will completely be gone. Also, there are black holes in space which might engulf any of the stars. Or is it too much reading that we start fearing for eventualities that might never occur?


The impact of social media on customer service

Social media is media for social interaction as a super-set beyond social communication. There is absolutely no getting away from social media. Think of the possibilities when millions of people can be reached all around the globe use of social media.
Two aspects in social media thus arise:
Social Media as Customer Communication Channel – using social media to listening for customer service issues and respond in real time
Social Media as Quality of Service Channel – delivering quality of customer service based on social media influence and engagement profiles
Facebook can serve as an informational platform, and a place to reinforce branding while Twitter can cut to the chase on customer service issues and immediately direct the conversation to direct contact with the customer. When it’s used to help customers and consumers solve their problems, it becomes a positive reinforcement for any company in terms of:
  • Increased customer retention rate;
  • Decreased operational costs;
  • Increased use of self help options on the organisation’s website;
  • Customers saving as there is a reduced time spent on phone calls;
  • Increased customer satisfaction leading to an increased customer base as the customers who use social media have a viral tendency and love to share and recommend their experiences; and
  • An increase in cross selling of the company’s products and services thus a reduction in overall advertising costs.
On the other hand, if not well managed, it can lead to loss of customer base, as the negative sentiments will spread real time.